'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy]

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'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy]

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:45 pm

It had been exactly 2 months, 17 days, 21 hours, 43 minutes, and 28 seconds since he had last seen Sam. Twenty-nine. Not that he was counting. At all. Because that wasn’t how Dean was. Thirty-two. Thirty-three. . .

They’d had a spat, and like a normal fight between men, it was over a girl. It was always over a fucking girl, wasn’t it? Sammy would choose that Amelia bitch over him, huh? Fuck him. Fuck. Him. He didn’t need that sasquatch riding shotgun, anyway. He still had Benny, and that was who he had gone to see since Cas was AWOL. Castiel was always fucking leaving. Sammy was always fucking thinking he didn’t need him anymore and that that bitch in Texas was more important than his own goddamn flesh and blood, the only person who had always been there for him and protected him and taken care of him and died for him… that didn’t mean shit anymore, apparently. Fuck him. Forty-four minutes, seventeen seconds. Eighteen. Nineteen… Benny was the only person who had been fucking there for Dean since they’d met. He hadn’t questioned a single thing Dean had said or done. He had saved him. Benny had gotten his ass out of purgatory when Sam had gone and become fucking domesticated instead of looking for him. Benny had listened to him, had heeded his advice, and he had only killed once since coming back up top. He was a good guy, or was trying to be. But Sam couldn’t see that side of him. Sam could fuck a goddamn demon countless times and open fucking Lucifer’s cage and that was goddamn peachy, and he could save the life of a fucking kitsune who was ganking people and taking their pituitary glands because she saved his life once and that was fine, but the one time Dean befriended a vamp that wasn’t harming anyone and had saved his life, well, that was just fucking wrong and the vampire HAD to be killed, right? Right?!

Fuck Sam. Fuck that goddamn self-righteous sonofabitch.

“You’re drinking a mighty large amount tonight, Dean. Why?” Benny asked, his arms folded on the counter of the bar as he looked over at his friend.

Dean downed a shot. “Because fuck Sam!” he exclaimed, slamming the shotglass onto the bar. Benny laughed, a long, deep, slightly wheezing sound of a laugh, and the vampire patted Dean on the back. He knew that the whole Sam scenario had hurt Dean, but it always amused him when Dean said something like that. The man tried to come across as a badass most of the time, but when he began brooding, he was pretty pathetic. Benny ordered another shot and had it placed in front of Dean. Even though his friend said nothing of the fact—and often vehemently denied it when Benny brought it up—Benny was intelligent and observant. He had seen Dean’s gaze follow a nice piece of ass across room more than once, and the majority of the time, those asses hadn’t belonged to women. And when he was around, saw, spoke of, or even thought about Sam… There was a change in him. Benny wasn’t stupid. He knew when there was something going on, even if the feelings were one-sided. Dean had it bad for Sam. And Sam was the same way. They were both completely ignoring it, though, Sam by transferring those feelings to Amelia and Dean by repressing them as much as he possibly could. Which wasn’t a lot. But who was Benny to judge? He didn’t like Sam, but if that was what would make Dean happier… As long as he didn’t lose his friend, he was fine with it. Dean was the only reason he’d been able to stay topside for as long as he had. He depended on Dean to help him keep from harming anyone. It had been hard as fuck when he’d been trying to make it on his own. With Dean, things were easier. If he’d just stop thinking about Sam, things would be even better. But that wasn’t going to happen ever.

“Just keep drinking, buddy. Maybe you’ll even find a nice guy to go home with for the night and let me have the hotel to myself for once.”

“Dammit, Benny! Why the fuck do you always say that?” Dean glared at his friend, but he was having a hard time completely focusing. “I’m not gay, dumbass.”

“Just keep telling yourself that,” Benny murmured, raising his own glass and sipping the contents. Dean huffed and took another drink, but he didn’t say anything else. The man drank quite a bit more, eventually flirting with the bartender without realizing he was doing so. Benny watched his friend in amusement, switching his drinks to water when he thought the man had had enough. Dean didn’t go home with anyone that night, so he had to drag the man from the bar after last call and after paying for their drinks, and he took him to the Impala. No one was supposed to drive the Impala except Dean, but he was in no condition to drive or to even argue, so Benny drove them to the hotel.

Once there, Dean thought it’d be a great idea to look up information on Sammy. He hadn’t checked up on his little brother in a while. He checked his phone’s location, seeing he was still in fucking Texas. That pissed him off. He had hoped that maybe Sam would realize he was wrong and would come looking for Dean. But no. No such fucking luck. He could have at least picked up the goddamn phone and called…

Called. He could have called. “Benny! Give me your phone.”

“What? Why?” he asked from where he was stretched out on his bed, watching television.

“Because Sammy wouldn’t answer my call. And he doesn’t know your number.”

Benny sighed, but he tossed his phone to Dean. Dean missed it completely, of course, and fell out of his chair trying to retrieve it from the floor. He crawled from the desk over to his own bed, Benny’s phone in hand. He was too drunk to walk. Once he was on his bed, he stripped down to his boxers and then settled under the covers. “The fuck are you watchin’?”

“I don’t know,” Benny replied. “It was just on when I turned the television on.” It was some comedian, but Benny didn’t find him very comical.

Dean paid no more attention. He squinted hard at the keypad and carefully dialed Sam’s phone number. It was after 4:00 A.M. so after 3:00 Sam’s time. Fucker would probably be asleep beside that fucking whore. The phone rang and rang, and then he heard his brother’s tired voice on the other end of the line. “Hello?”

Silence.

“Hello?”

Dean hung up the phone and placed it on the night stand.
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:46 pm

The shrill ringtone of his cellphone woke him. He fumbled for it on the dresser, feet tangling up on the sheets, and ended up falling over the side of it when he missed his mark. Motel beds were never adequate enough for his height. He'd long ago resigned to the fact. Grabbing the phone from the nightstand from where he was sitting on the floor next to it, Sam sighed.

"Hello?" His voice was raspy from sleep and he blinked when there was no answer. He glanced at the caller ID but didn't recognize it.

"Hello?"

He frowned when it was hung up and stared at the phone silently.

Dean.

Of course. It had only been two months but he had was actually surprised it had taken his brother this long to call. Considering how Sam had left him, high and dry, he couldn't blame him. He'd gone to see Amelia, though. After the incident with her phone, finding her with her husband (or was it ex-husband? Sam didn't really care), and then the proposition that came afterward..

Sam had almost been ready to really take her offer. What was one more sin next to all the others he'd already committed? But just the thought of laying in bed with her when Dean was waiting on him to come back, while her husband slept unaware, well it was enough to put him off.

Nevertheless, he didn't think he had any right to just go back to Dean. Amelia was where she was meant to be. Dean was surely off with Benny or hunting like he wanted to do. Sam..

Well Sam was still in Texas.

He'd hustled enough to pay for a few weeks in a motel and then started job hunting. He wasn't anywhere near Amelia but he wasn't any closer to Dean, he didn't think. He found a shitty job at the closest grocery store and intended to stay until he figured out what he wanted to do.

Two months in and he still hadn't figured that out.

Letting out a loud groan, the brunette got up and untangled himself from the sheets. He was supposed to be awake in a few hours for work, by what the motel clock said, but sleep wouldn't come now. He rubbed at his eyes as he walked to the bathroom and ignored his reflection in the mirror as he took a piss. It wasn't enough that he was trying his hardest to not think of Dean every second of every day but the asshole had to call him at three in the morning to listen to his voice?

Sam sighed. He couldn't really blame him, though, could he? That was the whole point in him being gone in the first place. No matter how much he loved his brother- NO. Because he loved his brother so much, and because Dean loved him back, he couldn't stay.

He was a fuck up. A college drop out with demon blood inside him. He'd started and ended the apocalypse, for Godsake. He wasn't ever going to be the hunter his brother wanted him to be; was himself. He couldn't be just his brother like Dean needed him to be. And he didn't think he'd ever be able to let go of that need to be normal. To hide all the things he knew about himself.

Dean deserved better partner at his side. Even Benny was a better candidate. He'd never betrayed Dean, as much as Sam hated to admit it, and had been there with his brother when Sam had stopped living and just settled for convenience.

And yet, these last two months apart, had been the hardest he'd ever lived bar the times Dean was actually dead or gone. Dean was out there somewhere and Sam wanted to be with him. He wanted to fight, wake up in the morning needing to piss and have to wait for Dean to get out of the shower, he wanted to ride shotgun and be forced to listen to crappy 80's metal rock, he wanted to come back aching and satisfied after finishing a hunt and saving the girl, and wanted to watch crappy motel tv with his brother.

He just fucking wanted Dean.

Flopping on the end of the motel bed, Sam ran his hands through his hair, and let his gaze fall on the cellphone before he could stop himself. A second later he was pressing the button to call the last number back and putting the phone to his ear.

It rung twice and his breath hitched when he felt the line click. He didn't know what the hell he was doing but it was too late to stop now.

"Dean? You there?"
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:55 pm

"So?" Benny asked. "Did he answer?"

"No."

"Yeah, right. I saw your face, old fella. He answered, and you were too chickenshit to talk to him."

"Shut up, Benny." Dean rolled his eyes and carefully sank down in the bed until he was lying down. He turned his back to the other and closed his eyes. . . . Fuck. He'd lost count. Goddammit. Two months, seventeen days... Dean turned so he could see the time on the clock. Eighteen days. Three hours. Twenty....four minutes? Twenty-five? He was too drunk to be doing math. Giving up, he sighed and settled back down. "Turn the TV down, will you?"

He had almost drifted off when he heard the phone ring. It wasn't his phone, and Sam wouldn't call back. Benny was the one who answered. He didn't say anything, but he recognized Sam's voice. The vampire stood, moving over to Dean and shaking his shoulder. "What, Benny?" he grumped, but then he felt a phone shoved to his ear. He heard Sam's voice on the other end of the line, and his heart stopped. "...Sammy." The man cleared his throat, forcing himself into a sitting position and closing his eyes so the world wasn't spinning. "What the fuck are you doing up so late? You know you need your sleep."

Protective older brother shit. Goddammit. That wasn't how he'd imagined talking to Sam again going.
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:55 pm

"Hello? Deeaan." He frowned when all heard was fumbling, and then his brother's voice was in his ear and Sam's heart rate picked up at the sound of it. His earlier thoughts of Benny being there were confirmed but he pushed that thought away when his brother spoke to him. He snorted in response.

"Dean. You're the one who called me and woke me up," he pointed out and cringed a second later. He hadn't mean to do that. Make Dean feel guity with just seconds of talking to him again. He cleares his throat and shifted so he lay back against the pillows.

"I mean...How are you? You okay?" He wanted to ask where he was, what he was doing, why Benny was there, if they were hunting together. But he bit his tongue instead.
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:56 pm

"...Oh. Uh, right. But you weren't supposed to call back." Except he was. Dean had hoped that Sam would call back but hadn't believed he would. Yet here he was. "...Sorry." He sighed, rubbing his face with one hand. Benny had moved to shit on the other bed again and was sipping from a packet of blood.

"I'm... fine, Sam. Finer than a frog hair split four ways." It was an old stupid saying their dad had had, and he picked it up occasionally. He wasn't going to say he was drunk, but his words were probably a little slurred as it was. Fuck.

"What about you? How're you? And how are things going with--" that fucking cunt you left me for "--Amelia?" Was it everything you wanted, Sam? Was it worth leaving me to be with that skank?
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:56 pm

Sam's eyebrows furrowed incredulously. He didn't even bother to comment about him not calling back. He kind of knew that. But he had obviously called back anyway.

"Dean," he said with a sigh, after hearing their dad's old saying. Just the words made his chest ache with guilt and familiarity. "Are you drunk?"

He should have expected that. Of course Dean would only call him when he's drunk. Sam pinched his nose as he felt a headache coming on.

"I don't know Dean," he said honestly. "Haven't seen her in a while." It was probably stupid of him, to confess this now, when his brother was drunk. But he kind of felt it he had to. Maybe because he could let Dean think it was the alcohol talking, if shit went wrong.

"How are things with Benny?" He almost spat out the name but refrained at the last second and it came out more quiet than he anticipated. Like he didn't even want to say the name.
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:56 pm

"I'm not drunk. You know I can hold my liquor. I don't get drunk." But he did, and it was a common thing. He had been drinking more since he and Sam had gone their separate ways, too. "Why would that be one of your first questions?"

When Sam said he hadn't seen Amelia in a while, Dean snorted softly. "You're in Texas, Sammy. You stayed there to be with her. What do you mean, you haven't seen her in a while? You see her every day." Didn't he? Surely Sam wouldn't have stayed in Texas and left him high and dry for no goddamn reason. Right? ... Right?

"They're fine," he said simply, but after a moment he decided he didn't want to just leave it there. "You know, he didn't leave for some girl, so he's pretty fucking good. He's been hunting with me." Dean paused, looking over at Benny, who was just shaking his head. "Why're you even asking it that way? You act like I'm dating him or something, fuck. And you and I both know, Sammy, that I am not that way."
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:56 pm

"Because you sound drunk Dean," he explained patiently. He'd seen his brother drink himself into a stupor too many times since their father died to not realize the signs.

Sam sighed at Dean's question and fought to find the right response. He hated talking about this over the phone. At all, really. "Haven't seen in her two months, actually." He wasn't sure if his brother would get the significance of that. He almost didn't want him to.

He wasn't surprised when Dean had more to say. His heart clenched at the words of denying, because even if Sam was aware they weren't actually true, he couldn't help but feel bad that Dean denied something so important to him. That was another reason they shouldn't be having this conversation. He couldn't find the strength to hang up, though.

"Yea, man. I know you're not," he didn't care to sound all that convincing. "I just meant-are things okay?" But Dean had already answered that, hadn't it? "Uhh..I." He didn't know what to say. I miss you. Love you. Can you forgive me for leaving you again?
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:56 pm

Dean said nothing. So what if he sounded drunk? It was okay for him to have a few drinks, wasn't it? He said nothing at all about being drunk because no matter how much he denied it, Sam knew. Sam always knew. Listening to the other, he was shocked to hear Sam hadn't seen that bitch in two months. Shocked and infuriated. "If you haven't seen her in two months, why the fuck are you still in Texas?" he asked bluntly. "Why are you there and not here? If you didn't leave for the dumb bitch, why did you leave, Sammy? Why would you turn your back on your family and not call for two months?"

He was beyond hurt by the revelation, but he just sounded a little miffed and very drunk. He sighed again, carefully moving to lie down once more. "Things are fine, Sammy." As fine as they could be without his brother by his side. Which actually meant he was pretty fucking miserable. "You what, Sammy? Don't you dare say you miss me because that would be the biggest fucking lie. You would have called sooner or come looked for me if that was the case."
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:56 pm

Why would you turn your back on your family and not call for two months? Sam flinched and closed his eyes at the hurt he could hear in his brother's words, drunkenness aside. Miffed Dean usually meant there was more to it than that. He couldn't even muster enough anger at Dean calling Amelia a bitch.

"Just..thought it'd be best. You..uh..Come on, man. You've got Benny, right?"

Some part of Sam wanted to believe Dean, the one that decided his brother was better off without him. But at three in the morning, with his brother's voice in his ear, and their secrets hanging in the air, he didn't know what to believe.

He knew hw could have easily found him. That was why he hadn't left. The first opportunity he let himself have in the road and he'd go straight for Dean. He sucked his lip into his mouth and worried it with his teeth.

"Dammit, Dean," he whined. "God. What do you want me to say?"
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:57 pm

"You thought it'd be best? Sammy, are you seriously that fucking stupid? You went to Stanford, for God's sake, and you're telling me you thought the smartest thing to do was leave?" Dean sighed. "Yeah, I've got Benny. But he's not you. You're my brother, Sammy. I'm s'posed to be taking care of you. Protecting you. Which means you have to be here for me to do that."

He was quiet for a long moment at the question, and he had almost dozed off in all honesty, but then he spoke. "I want you to say you'll get over yourself and come back here. I don't know why you thought this was the best thing, but it wasn't. I... I need you, Sammy. We're family. I need you here with me, not halfway across the fucking country."
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:57 pm

Sam rolled his eyes, though Dean's words were clearly affecting him.

"I don't need to be protected Dean! You don't always have to watch over me," he insisted, punching his pillow and letting out a low growl. "You haven't learned that yet? Sometimes I wanna' protect you too." But his brother would have none of it, obviously.

He rubbed at his eyes and let out a soft sound not at all like how a man his size should be capable of. "I'm sorry," he whispered, and shook his head at how pitiful he sounded. "Let's meet somewhere. Soon." He hadn't anticipated this when he called his brother back but the words were heavy on his tongue and he didn't take them back. He always knew he'd go back to Dean eventually. He always did.
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:57 pm

"I promised Dad I would take care of you, so yes, I do." Dean frowned to himself, closing his eyes again. "You're not supposed to protect me, Sammy. It doesn't work that way." The sound emitted from his brother's throat made his heart ache. He had to have his brother with him again. He had to.

And then Sam was saying to meet him. "Where do you want to meet?" he asked. Dean didn't know if this meant he would have to leave Benny. Probably. He wished he could have both of them in his life. He needed both of them. Benny was like family, even though he wasn't a blood relative like Sam. And he'd been there... And now Dean was going to leave him. He considered saying Sam had to get over his issues with Benny, but he didn't. He was such an awful friend. "And when? Just say the word, Sammy, and I'll..." He didn't finish the thought. I'll be there in a heartbeat.
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:57 pm

Sam snorted. "We're supposed to protect each other." At least that's how Sam saw it. Dean might not think so but Sam cared about him and wanted to protect him too. He wished Dean could live a normal life, believe that he deserved it, and be from all the same things he knew Dean wanted to protect him from.

He wasn't dissappointed. Dean was obviously set on meeting right away, fuck the consequences, like always. But this time Sam was actually thinking things through. He realized that he wasn't sure where he needed this to go. He just wanted Dean to be happy. Which meant..

"In three days. That motel we stayed in, in Atoka. With the blue seagulls on the wall paper? Um.. and Benny could come too, I guess. So long as I don't have to share a coffin with him," he said, last part coming out pettily, but he couldnt help it. He honestly couldn't say he knew him, hated him on principle, but knew that Dean wanted him in his life. And he'd been there for Dean when he wasn't. He was just gonna have to man up and swallow his pride. He just hoped Dean was right about the guy or he'd cut his head off himself just fine.
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:57 pm

Like he could remember where the fuck a motel with blue seagulls was. "You always notice the weirdest shit," he commented. "I don't look at wallpaper, Sammy." But he knew he would find it. If it meant having Sam back around, then fuck yes, he'd find it. Dean was shocked once more when Sam said Benny could come, too. Was he having a change of heart? "You can share one with me," he said before he even realized what was coming out of his mouth. Fuck. He'd just told Sam he could share a bed with him. Well, coffin, but in this context it meant bed. Fuck.

"If we get there first, I'll get a room and call you to give you the number. Okay? You do the same if you get there before you hear from me." Which he doubted. Dean was planning on leaving the next morning to head to Atoka. The man yawned loudly. "But Sammy? I gotta go to sleep now. You really need to get some rest, too. I'll see you soon... okay?" Please be there. Don't say you'll come and then not show up.
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:57 pm

Sammy was good at that. He'd spent a tremendous amount of time noticing the decour of motel rooms they stayed at as a teenager, waiting for his father and brother to come back from a hunt. He sighed and was about to explain further when the other man spoke.

He doubted Dean made it sound the way it did on purpose. Sam nodded absently to himself.

"Right...it's the motel where you ate that spicy apple pie for the first time when we were kids, Dean," he explained and let out a yawn of his own after his brother did. He wondered if it was possible to spread the need to yawn through phones. Then he figured he was probably really fucking tired to even think that.

"'Kay. Goodnight...Oh, and Dean?" His lips quirked as he settled comfortably back on the pillows. "It's Sam," he reminded him.
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:58 pm

"Mmm. That pie was amazing," he remembered with a soft laugh. For the first time in almost two months, Dean was really smiling again. The reminder just earned another laugh. "Goodnight, Sammy." He hung up then and placed Benny's phone on the nightstand, settling back in the bed afterward. "We're going to Atoka tomorrow," he told Benny.

"We?"

"Mhm. Sam said you could come." Benny smiled a bit at that. He hadn't been expecting it, and while it'd be awkward... Maybe they just needed to give each other a chance. "'Night, Benny."

Dean passed out soon afterward, waking up in the early afternoon. He couldn't move them until nightfall, so he dozed and lazed around until then. He then showered, and he and Benny packed their bag and cooler into the Impala. Dean checked them out of the hotel room, paying for that day as well since they'd missed check out. The two then left.

They drove all night, only stopping about an hour before sunrise to get a room. They only had a few more hours to go, so they reached Atoka the next night. He searched for the hotel, finally finding it and getting a room for them. Once they were situated, he left to get some food, and he ate his dinner while Benny drank another pouch of blood. He then called Sam and left him a voicemail. "Room 1304." Sam was probably showering. Dean quickly pushed that image from his mind.

The third day came, and Dean tried to pass the time by surfing the internet or television channels, but he had a hard time focusing on one thing for too long. He was afraid Sam wouldn't really show.
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:58 pm

Sam let out a short chuckle at the smile he could hear in his voice and the laugh. He didn't think he'd heard that in a long time. Even before Purgatory, with everything with Bobby and stuff, Dean hadn't had much reason to smile.

He slept much better than he had in the last two months that night. He awoke around the afternoon, having missed his shift at the supermarket, but he didn't care. He just took a shower, packed his things, and left after checking out indefinitely. He debated hitchiking, not wanting to steal a car, but thought better of it. He'd said three days.

He grabbed an old but steady car near a highway and made his way to Atoka. He didn't stop when he probably should have, which meant his phone died without him noticing at first, but he stopped two get a few hours of sleep the second night, and heard Dean's message later.

When they were finally supposed to meet, Sam parked the stolen car a little away from the motel room, enough that it wouldn't be obvious the person who stole it was supposed to be there. He stopped at a gas station to grab chips and iced tea before making the rest of the walk to the motel.

He wore his cleanest jeans, frayed at the bottom, his red plaid long sleeve, along with his boots, and then jacket wrapped around his waist. His bag was thrown over his shoulder, and although he hadn't shaved in a while, he looked otherwise fine besides a bit tired.

The number of the motel room was stuck to his brain and he made it there by early evening. His breath hitched at the sight if the Impala and he took a moment to run his hands over her expanse before going to find Dean's (and Benny, he reminded himself) room.

He steeled himself when he found it and knocked.
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:58 pm

Sam wasn't coming. How could he have been so fucking stupid to believe he'd show up? Whatever. What the fuck ever. Dean decided to go drink, maybe pick up a gu--chick at the bar and briing them back here or go to their place for a night. It beat just sitting here. "Benny! We're going drinking." Of course they were. They were always fucking drinking. Or he was, at least.

He had just finished showering and drying off. A pair of jeans were pulled on, and he was searching through his bag for what shirt he wanted to wear. He'd done laundry the night before, so for once everything was clean. There was a knock on the door, and Dean froze. "I'd get it," Benny started, "but I really don't think I'm the first face he'd want to see."

Dean walked to the door and pulled it open. "Sammy," he whispered, and after a second he stepped forward, grabbing his brother and hugging him tightly, gripping the back of his shirt in his hands. His giant of a little brother was back. He'd lost everyone else, but he had Sam back. That was what mattered most.
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:58 pm

He heard a voice he couldn't make out through the door and hiked his bag over shoulder a little more, nervously. He wasn't sure what to think; even though he'd had plenty of time to think for the past few days, he felt like he'd just woken up and answered his phone to Dean on the other line.

With that in mind, Sam blinked when the door opened. He took in his brother's form, half naked-jesus-and caught his name right before he was pulled into a hug. His arms moved on their own accord, wrapping around Dean's shoulders in turn, and perching his hands on the warm skin of his brother's shoulderblades and back. The strap of his bag pressed painfully against his shoulder and neck but he didnt care.

The heady smell of motel soap and shampoo and Dean's unique scent made his head swim and he looked into the room a bit dazed, catching sight of the vampire watching. The thought of him being anywhere Dean was half naked made him see green (and red-his brother's fragile throat and skin was all on display for a hungry vampire to see). He didn't say anything, though, and focused on Dean after they pulled apart and he was ushered inside.

His glaze flickered, doing the familiar action of categorizing changes he could see in Dean and looking for any sounds of wounds. When he was satisfied, which probably wasn't as long as he thought it was, he met Dean's gaze.

"Hi."
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:58 pm

He held onto Sam probably longer than he should have before he finally broke away and allowed the man to enter the motel room. Dean looked over his brother as the other did the same to him. "You really need to shave. Did you not have a razor in Texas?" he asked, just being his usual smartass self.

He wanted to knock the shit out of his brother for leaving him. He wanted to kiss him and give him a reason not to leave again. He wanted to yell at him. He wanted to cling to him in a way he hadn't done in years. He didn't know what he wanted.

"Hi?" he repeated instead. "After two months, you start with 'hi'? And that is one of the many reasons you could never keep a girl. Besides the fact that any girl that sleeps with you dies. Y'wanna go out for a drink or stay in tonight?"
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:58 pm

Sam brought a hand up to rub at the bush growing on his face at Dean's comment and shrugged.

"S'not that bad," he insisted. It actually made him feel a little more comfortable while he was away. Like he was someone else entirely. His true face hidden behind stubble.

He snorted. "Yea, that must be why," he agreed dryly, with a roll of his eyes. He finally let his bag drop on the floor, out of the way, and couldn't help but flicker his gaze towards Benny when his brother talked about what to do. He nodded silently, forced curt nod, but didn't say anything to him.

"I don't know. Whatever you want." Which meant going out, really. Which was honestly better than staying in with Benny hanging around, all awkward and shit.
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:58 pm

Benny was ignoring the brothers entirely, seeming engrossed in the television show that he had playing. He felt Sam look at him but didn't acknowledge it. "We're going out then," Dean decided before pushing his brother towards the bathroom. "But first you have to shave that shit off your face." You look so much better without it. "You don't need to give people even more reason to think of you as a sasquatch."

He finished dressing then, pulling on a shirt and running his hands through his short hair. He was wired. His brother was back. His best friend was there. One of them, anyway. The only thing that would be better would be if Cas came around, but he doubted that'd happen. He still prayed to Castiel, but nothing ever came of it.

"I'm gonna stay here," Benny decided, "let you all have some time to... I dunno. Get caught up."
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:58 pm

"Fine, fine." He shook his head at his brother's antics, but only paused to grab his shaving kit from his duffle, before going to the bathroom as instructed.

It smelled like Dean, since he'd taken a shower, but maybe that was just Sam's imagination. He left the door to the bathroom open and inspected himself in the mirror. In all honesty, one of the reasons for the beard, was that he'd spent as little time as he could in front of the mirror. He had quite a hard time looking at himself these days.

He could see Dean getting dressed, the expanse of his freckled back being covered by a t shirt, out of the corner of his eye. He shook himself mentally and splashed water on his face before grabbing his shaving cream to lather over his face.

He heard his brother and Benny talking but the rhythm of shaving blurred out their conversation somewhat and he only focused on it marginally. Sure, he wanted to easedrop, and quite honestly tell Benny to go away, but he couldn't. Dean might forgive him but he'd resent him for it in the long run. Like he did for leaving him, for drinking demon blood behind his back. Fuck, for everything he'd done in an attempt to do things right and only royally ended fucking up. Dean didn't deserve to sacrifice everything he cared about for Sam. He knew that.

He was just shit at letting Dean have that and Sam at the same time. He wanted Dean all for himself; like when they were kids and Sam was his world. But no, there had been hunting and Dad then too, and Sam left. Just like he always did. But this time he didn't want to. He vowed that no matter what, even if he ended up alone, Dean was going to be happy, dammit.
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Re: 'cause i'm the only one trying to keep us together [18++] when all of the signs say that i should forget 'em [jaaayy

Post by padfoot; » Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:58 pm

"You sure, man? You can come with us."

"I'm okay staying here," Benny assured him with an easy smile. "I'll be able to watch what I want while you're gone." They talked for a couple more minutes. Dean was acting no differently, but there was a very big difference. His brother was back, and even though he was trying to act calm and collected, Benny knew he was fucking ecstatic.

After a little while, Dean came to the bathroom and leaned partially through the door. "Sam, man, you're still shaving? God, you're slow!"
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